All relationships are complicated. What complicates them further are the ideas ingrained in us about relationships by the cultures in which we live. In Western cultures, there are many ideas about relationships that you may have grown up thinking are true, but at closer examination simply are not. Here are a few relationship myths that have been busted, and a few of them may surprise you!
Fighting Ruins Relationships
This is false, though it seems it’s more about how you fight rather than if you fight at all. If fights with your partner tend to be nasty, scornful or condescending and do not lead to a resolution it can definitely damage your relationship. Fighting can be productive and if it ends with a deeper understanding of your partner then it was worth it.
What is more hurtful to a relationship is not attempting to gain insight into your partner’s motivations and then not resolving the issue that you were fighting about in the first place. If there’s no conflict, it doesn’t mean your relationship is necessarily healthy, it may just mean that you are avoiding issues that are important. Have the challenging conversations with your partner.
If Your Relationship Is Good, It Won’t Need Work
False! The best and longest lasting relationships take work, a lot of it. You have to think of your relationship like a garden. If you’re not periodically doing some weeding and feeding it, then you won’t get the most out of it that you can. Although you have to be careful to find balance between the work and fun in order for it to really thrive. If you’re unhappy more than happy, you may be focusing too much on the negative and missing the things about your relationship that are actually pretty great. Live in the now and take life as it comes, together.
For a Relationship to Successful, One Partner Must Change
Again, false! If you are in a relationship where you will need to give up something or some aspect of your life that is important to you to be able to move forward, then the relationship may not be healthy. Healthy relationships don’t require one person to change for the benefit of the other. The real challenge here is to be able to look at yourself and see what changes you may be able to make in order to be a better partner, instead of putting it all on your partner’s shoulders in order to make you happier. No finger pointing!
So, did you learn anything new?
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