Many of us want to be in romantic relationships, or at least that’s what we think we want. Having a significant other can aid in our mental and physical well being, if we’re in the right one. It can help to decrease blood pressure, heart rate and can ease stress. But, we first need to have good self-esteem before entering into a relationship so we can attract a healthy partner. Check out the following ways that your mentality may be shooting you in the foot, keeping you from love and hurting your psyche. And check out the following ways to help.
1. Fear Of Being Rejected
This is a pretty big one because not many people like rejection. Well, healthy people tend to see rejection as being no big deal because they understand that not everyone is going to like everyone and not everyone is going to find them attractive. And they’re okay with that. Here’s some food for thought- according to Margaret Paul, Ph.D, “when you abandon yourself — which means that you are rejecting yourself — you naturally fear being rejected by others.” So the fear of someone else rejecting you like you do yourself causes you to feel anxious in relationships and makes you want a sense of control. So you may compensate by being extremely nice and tolerating unloving behavior.
2. Fear Of Losing Yourself
This one is big particularly for those who grew up with controlling parents. These folks may believe that when they enter into a relationship, they are going to be controlled again and not be able to be themselves. They may also fear that their partner is going to judge them like their parents did and they don’t want that pressure, so they opt out of the relationship. If you’re someone who fights for a relationship in the beginning, but loses interest once the other person is interested, this could be your mentality.
So What Can You Do?
You need to stop rejecting yourself, learn to be loving to yourself and treat yourself like a friend. And you need to realize that no one can fill a void you have regarding needing to feel loved and good about yourself. Only you can do this for yourself. If you believe a partner can do it and the relationship ends, you will be left feeling like it’s the end of the world.
Remember to consult your physician or chiropractor before taking any health advice.
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